Ek Anokhi 'Mauke ki Dastak'

Auditions for a singing contest are taking place. The panel of judges consists of Sonu Nigam, Anu Malik and Farah Khan.

Anu Malik takes a sip of his tea.

Anu Malik - Ah ha ha. Mazaa aa gaya.
                     Ek garam chai ki pyaali ho,
                     Bagal mein Sonu aur Farah ho.
                     Gaane waala ho ya waali ho,
                     Bas awaaz mein ek magic ho.
                   
First contestant enters.

Nahida - I wanna play Pokemon with you... boy
                I wanna catch Pikachu with you...fella.

Sonu - Khel Pokemon mere sang soniye,
            Khel Pokemon mere sang jaaniye,
            Khel Pokemon mere sang heeriye.

The judges dance to the beat of Chiggy Wiggy. Nahida joins them.

Nahida leaves. Next contestant enters.

Pallab - Chal Sonu mere bhai,
              Tere haath jodhta hoon,
              Haath jodhta hoon,
              Tere paun padhta hoon,
             Add karle bhai...

Sonu - Tu jaaneman hai, jaane jigar hai,
            Tere liye fb kya, jaan bhi hazir hai...

Pallab & Sonu - Chal chal mere bhai, chal chal mere bhai, chal chal...

Pallab leaves. Next contestant comes in.

Milana - Jhappiyon sa desh hai mera
               O Sonuji, jhappiyon sa desh hai mera.

Loud clapping.

Anu Malik - Le gai dil, gudiya Russia ki,
                     Paagal judges ko kar diya.

Milana takes a bow and leaves. Next contestant enters. Sonu recognises him instantly.

Sonu - Arsalan bhai. Mere Arsalan bhai.
            Dubai ka chashma,
            Karachi ki shirt,
            Aur Lahori tie...

Arsalan - Tera chehra, qayamat hai,
                Bollywood ki, shaamat hai.
                Tere gaane, qayamat hein,
                Bollywood ki shaaan hein.
                Sonu bhai...

He leaves. Next contestant.

Vishal - Pyaar aaya, aur zyada,
              Aur zyada, pyaar aaya.
             Dekha jitni baar tumko,
             Pyaar aaya, aur zyada,
             Aur zyada, pyaar aaya.

Farah - Bas bas. Shaadi ho gai?

Vishal - Nahin, abhi sirf engagement hui hai.

Farah -Tabhi.

Vishal leaves. Next.

(Created by: Shayeza Mughal)

Shayeza - Ruki-ruki thi Fbing,
                 Phatt se chal padhi,
                 Hui Sonu se dosti.
                 Mazaa le le har ghadi.

Sonu - That's right. Kyunki...
            Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi,
            Chaav hai kabhi, kabhi hai dhoop zindagi.
            Har pal yahaan, jee bhar jiyo,
            Jo hai sama, kal ho na ho.

Shayeza - Shukran Allah...

Shayeza leaves.
       
Auditions are finally over. All the above contestants have made it to the next round.

The judges are exhausted.

Farah - I have to rush. My kids are alone.

Sonu - Kiska hai yey tumko intezaar, Mai hoon na.
            Nevaan ne mujhe itni practice di hai na...
            Khamosh kyun ho, jo bhi kehna hai kaho.
            Dil chahe jitna, utni baby-sitting kara lo.

Farah - How sweet Sonu. You'll do that for me?

Sonu- Of course, you work too hard. You need a break.
           Just chill, chill. Just chill...

Sonu's phone buzzes. It's a voicemail from Richa.

(Photo Courtesy: Nataliia Teselkina)

Richa's message - Dil ne yey kaha hai dil se
                               Fangiri ho gai hai tum se
                               Mere Sonu mere idol
                               Mera aitbaar kar lo...
                               Meri fangiri ko samjho
                               Mujhe Fb pe add kar lo.

Sonu - Oh no, I got to go.

Farah - Arre? Suddenly? Kahaan?

Sonu - Notifications aate hein,
            Mujhe tadpaate hein,
            Messages aate hein,
            Ki pooche jaate hein,
            Ki online kab aaoge,
            Ki online kab aaoge,
            Login kab karoge,
            Ki tum bin Fb
            Soona soona hai.

Farah - Kya hua, tera vada?
              Woh kasam,
              Woh irada?

Sonu - Abhi, mujh mein kaheen,
            Bahut thodi si hai energy...
            
            Bachon ko sambhaloon,
            Ya soh loon zara?
            Fb jaun,
            Ya ga loon zara?
            
I think we should let Anu Malik take care of the kids and let Sonu chat with us. What say guys? 😉

Hope you enjoyed these special auditions. Until next time, Khuda Hafiz. Rab rakha. Hasta la vista.

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Keep smiling friends. Keep ROFLing. Life is Beautiful 😃